Services Rendered

Yeah, that’s it, baby, render those services!

ATTENTION:
One freelance writer for hire. Willing to telecommute. All of your writing, editing, transcription, dictation, and general office needs can be taken care of at affordable prices. Same day or same week service in most cases. Don’t need any help in the aforementioned categories but have some other project in mind? Jane of many trades–contact now! Feeling generous? Tips, donations, and pay-it-forward loans accepted.

I shared the above on my Facebook personal account and on all three of my business pages. 

I am quite capable of making money in my field…if people would take a chance on me. What I find interesting is the sheer arrogance of potential employers who can look me in the eye in an interview and tell me that I should have been out there making money in my field all this time, yet these same potential employers are the ones telling me that I have not worked enough in the field for them to take a chance on me.

How exactly do I get experience in my field?

I’m a writer. I write.


Can I prove that I write?

Read my blog entries. Check out my social networking presence. Google me. Look me up on Amazon.


Am I a prolific writer?

That denotes a writer who produces many works. I have. I will. I do. If it connotes a writer who has actually published many works, yes, that too, in the form of poems, short stories, essays, articles, and two books.

I do not have the same bibliographic length as Mr. Philip M. Parker, but I’m actually writing. I have unpublished works in files stored on my hard drive. I keep sending them out to potential publishers. They keep coming back. My two books available for purchase are self published, but that is prohibitively expensive to continue to do for multiple titles when you have no other sources of income and no one is purchasing the existing books.

I am ready, willing, and able to work on any project. I really need projects that bring in income, but if you’re really passionate about a project that has the potential to be lucrative in the future I may be willing to work on it on a contracted basis, but no matter what happened you’d still owe what you promised. I do not work completely for free, even for friends and family. I may just allow people to delay payment, kind of like a layaway plan for services rendered.

I would prefer to earn money as a freelance writer to the point that I don’t have to apply for and jump through flaming hoops for public assistance programs. I would prefer to not have to keep applying for jobs far afield of my field and then getting rejected by those potential employers because I am overqualified. I would prefer to not feel like I have to grovel at job interviews and dumb myself down during the application process.

I am a writer. I write well. You need me to write for you. You need me to edit your writing. You need me to help you with basic layout and design issues for something you’re planning on publishing. You need me to help you organize your filing cabinets. You need me to read your three year old bedtime stories in funny voices. You need me to alphabetize your gym socks. You need me to write your phone scripts for the mornings when you wake up hungover and need to know what to say to the boss about why you cannot show up to your plush corner office. You need me to ghostwrite that novel you’ve always wanted to write but never had the talent for. I’ll let you take all of the credit if you let me take a chunk of money off of your debit or credit card for services rendered.

The Wombats–This is not an IOU.
View the full blog at heartchasms.blogspot.com and like the blog on Facebook.

2 thoughts on “Services Rendered

  1. Ashley,Sadly, the only way to make money writing for hire is by being a technical writer. Technical writers are well trained and usually start out with an MA in Rhet/Comp with an emphasis on technical/business/science writing. Any other writing for hire would be editing for fiction writers, who, as you know, are completely able to edit their own works. Most businesses (engineer or business) who are in need of a technical writer will want proof that you are able to write a proposal or one of many reports. They would need to know that you can write any of ten or so types of letters or white paper or a sales brochure. They would want to see proof that you can edit or write a manual or a group of instructions or create a knowledge base. You would need to prove you can create works in publisher such as newsletters and brochures as well as reports with various elements like table of content for content and figures and appendices as well as embeding or creating graphs, tables, and or charts. If you are applying to write in businesses, they cringe if you mention that you are a published creative writer because the largest, by far, complaint is that business writing is the opposite of academic and way opposite than creative. So, if you are applying and using your creative experience, you may be shooting yourself in the foot. They could care less about creative writing. In fact, that, they will argue, makes for a bad business writer. Where creative and academic writing relies upon figurative usage, business is literal and to the point. Plus there are about ten other differences. I hate to put a damper on your already frustrated mood, but you should go into this editing with a realistic view. Technical writers make a lot of money but they have worked hard to learn all of the ins and outs of technical writer, have learned to use the various software programs from publisher to access, and are familiar with the characteristics of business writing. Is there a university near you where you could sign up to work as a tutor? Tutors get paid 15 bucks an hour in most places. While you tutor, you could do some research in business writing so that when you apply at some of these businesses, you can go in saying the right thing. Saying I’m a good writer and a prolific writer doesn’t mean a damn thing to a business person; however, saying, I can write a proposal and any number of reports; I know the characteristics of good business writing; I can use any number of software programs; and I can teach your people how to use visual rhetoric for their advantage will go a hell of long way to getting you a job. Keeping that job will be hard work, but you must learn the talk if you are going to get the job. In the mean time, there are a couple of good books: Markel’s book is about the best tech comp book that is out there. Also, if you are sending your resume out without editing it, you are setting yourself up for rejection. Really look it over and spiff it up. Also, what does your cover letter look like? To be continued:

  2. And, the rest:Does your cover letter do what it is meant to do: sell you? I know you are probably sick of hearing me bitch about your writing, but if you are going to sell yourself as a writer, you have to write perfectly…whether you are billing yourself as a technical writer or an academic or a creative writer. There can be no exceptions: no sentence fragments, no comma splices, no run-ons, and no misplaced modifiers. Now’s the time to make your work shine. Creative writing can be a lot of fun; hell, I love to write short and long stories and novels. But, the truth is that even those who are making money at creative writing ventures are not self supporting. It is hard to get your stuff sold in large enough amounts to make a living. Real writing is where the money is, so do some research and get your professional cap back on and get busy…you have a new profession to learn. And, as much as you think you may have been taught how to write at UAFS, trust me, it didn’t happen. Let me know if I can help.

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