Memento Moratorium

Okay, everyone. From now on, no one buy anything at all for Luna. She apparently thinks that just because something is within 200ft of her it is both “hers” and something she has a right to destroy. I purchased matching toddler beds for the girls. I purchased one of those toy sorter shelves that has the canvas bins. I purchased a wooden table with canvas ottomans.

I purchased a foam puzzle mat. All of the above was Disney Princess and was purchased less than a week ago. Luna has single-handedly destroyed most of the above, some of it within 24hrs of purchase. She has also started stealing and drinking from Freya’s bottles but will deliberately dump out her own beverages.

While I am (mostly) joking about putting the kibosh (off topic, but here’s an interesting read on that word that appeals to the cunning linguist in me) on gifts of any kind for any reason, I am frustrated at her lack of care and concern for hers or others’ belongings as well as confused as to the origins of this lack of care and concern. I cannot be accused of not trying. I have taught her that she should ask politely before taking or using something that is not hers.

I have taught her that she should thank everyone for things they give to her. If you ask her what the rules and regulations are, she will recite them with surprising diction for a four year old. She knows that even things which belong to her are still not up for demolition at her whim…yet she does so anyway. She gets this evil-looking gleam in her eye and you know there’s trouble to be had or you know to go looking for your favorite knick knack in a hurry.

What’s especially disturbing is that it’s not just objects she feels the need to randomly attempt to destroy. She will at random, and without warning, hit, kick, bite, slap, or otherwise attempt to maim people. This seems distinctly counter-intuitive on her part, considering her equally inherent ability to sense and react to others’ emotional states on an empathic level, comforting them in their time of need. One would think that she wouldn’t want to harm others if doing so would cause her to then feel their pain as it were.

The only explanation that makes it seem logical is if the feeling of pain is somehow a good feeling for her, perhaps due to the rocky start of spending her formative years in an abusive household. If this is the case, I am sure a child psychologist will be able to help me reprogram her to understand the benefits of a loving, caring home like the one we now have.

It is also entirely possible that I am over-analyzing and overreacting, as is often the case with me, and that she instead is acting like a lot of children her age and simply being mean and destructive for its own sake with no psychoses or ulterior motives to consider. I do have an appointment with her physician coming up during which these topics will be discussed and a referral will be requested.

In a somewhat related issue, she does seem to be more often hugging than hitting her baby sister, which gives me hope that their bond will continue to grow and they’ll be the best of friends over the years. I went in to check on them last night (or rather quit early this morning) and discovered them both asleep side-by-side on Freya’s bed. I snapped a picture of the adorableness. A couple of hours later, though, I had to move Luna to her own bed because Freya woke up fussing and tossing and turning.

She got a hug, a kiss, and a bottle of milk (which I found in Luna’s bed this morning /sigh).

I must take a break from this psychoanalytic post to return to my mountain of graduate school coursework. The girls are both in their bedroom and–at last check–were in their own beds fighting sleep. I will check on them again before I delve too deeply into American folklore, Ozark literature, and second language acquisition…

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One thought on “Memento Moratorium

  1. I know this is going to sound a little bossy, but I figure I am deserving of that bossiness based upon 1) my age; 2) my having rasied two children successfully; 3) as my granddaughter says, you a doctor; and 4) I raised my two children without one cavity between the two. You should never, and I’m sure your dentist will agree, send the baby to bed with a bottle. Milk feeds the bacteria that causes tooth decay and babies and small children will hold the nipple in their mouths and the milk will seep out and keep their teeth covered, which feeds the bacteria. Also, even if they drink the milk in a record time and do not hold the milk in their mouth, the milk collects from the drinking and will coat their teeth thereby feeding the bacteria. having said that, the hitting and destroying doesn’t seem to be a stage that I noticed with my kids or grands. My granddaughter turned 4 in August and she is really good about taking care of her things. I would bet it is from her change in surroundings and by now she is probably missing the sperm donor. children cannot really talk about their feelings because they do no t have names for those feelings other than sad or anger, so they act out as a response to their pain. You know this. It’s the sperm donors fault. Blame him and buy some duct tape so you can put the stuff back together.

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