And I Know And The World Knows

The following is a dream sequence as I remember it…

I was at a theme park of some sort with my older sister and some random corpulent African American woman. I’m not sure who the woman was, or why she and my sister and I had decided to visit that particular theme park together that day, but we were playing ridiculously complicated midway games. I can’t even describe the midway game I was so engrossed in at the beginning of the dream. It involved avalanches and coins and gold bars and it’s probably like some video game or something, but I see it so vivid–this giant tree like thing with all this stuff avalanche-ing down and the more stuff it knocks loose on the way down the more you win with candy being the prizes at the bottom.

Anyway, after playing the game for a while and winning big, my sister and said stranger decided that they’d had enough of it and wanted to wander around the park. For some reason, I sat on a bench and started playing a version of the midway game on a large tablet device (maybe it was an iPad?). It popped on screen that I had a request to start a two-player game and I accepted the request. Husband was the one who apparently wanted to play so I sat there competing against him in cyberspace until my sister and the lady came back.

They wanted to leave the park and get back to our family. All this time, my kids had been back at my apartment, which was maybe more of a duplex because my mother lived in the adjoining apartment and for some reason my kids were sleeping at my place but my mom, two female cousins, and a bunch of random relatives were in and out of both homes all evening (I knew this from vivid flashbacks or memories).

My sister and the woman had gotten to the park in a beat up old white pickup truck, but I had driven my car. When we got to where both vehicles had been parked–side by side–mine was missing. My sister had my keys and handed them to me, but neither she nor the woman seemed concerned that my car was now missing and insisted I forgot where I parked. They drove off.

I wandered the parking lot a while and finally found my car parked in an unlit distant otherwise vacant part of the lot–near a forested area.

My car was locked, so I unlocked it and climbed inside. I quickly shut and locked the door. That’s when I noticed that someone had apparently been rummaging through the contents of the car and had disturbed everything. I was pissed that they had messed up my organization and moved my car while not having the decency to actually steal anything (there were various expensive electronic devices in the car and lots of cash). They had also covered the dash area with some big canvas cover.

While I was reorganizing and removing said cover, headlights came on behind me and music started playing, “and I know and the world knows” on a loop. It sounded familiar.
Suddenly, someone from behind me–in my backseat–slipped a cord or something around my neck and pulled it taut.

A short catch of my breath, barely audible, before I said, “Are you going to kill me or rape me, sir?” in a ridiculously calm voice while silently cursing myself for not having checked the backseat.

As I passed out (or died?), I got no response.

Abruptly, I was awake in real life, my heart pounding.

I got up and checked on my two beautiful slumbering children, who were still doing so quite peacefully. I re-blanketed the little one, and meandered back to my bedroom, thinking to lay on my bed and Google the lyrics from the dream-song. A knock at the door–my mother was here to remind me that I have to work today at 10a (I asked her to do so last night).

I told her about the dream and got a hug and an attempt at dream analysis, but I wanted to write it all down before attempting to analyze it, so she said she’d tell me later–something about life and the economy.

What disturbs me about the dream was the only other vivid rape dream I can remember having was the one I had in San Marcos all those years ago (at this blog’s beginnings) which preceded an actual “date rape” attempt by a coworker (I put that in quotes because he and I weren’t dating and he was at my apartment with me and a friend of mine so that we could all innocently enjoy a ridiculous amount of alcohol and make fun of poorly plotted adult films–okay maybe we had made some poor choices there, but he still had no right…).

At the time I had the previous dream (which I believe was prophetic), I had awakened beating my fists against my then-boyfriend-now-husband’s back, but I don’t remember him even waking up. Maybe he did. I don’t feel like going back and reading the entry about the dream or the one about the rape right now. I’m still a bit shaken up about the dream that awakened me this morning. But this time I didn’t even have the comfort of another human being in bed next to me (although if boyfriend were here, he probably would have woken up and would have comforted me for sure…).

I did not find any results for that song when I Googled it, so if any of you readers happen to know the song, please please please let me know what the song is and who wrote it. I’m not sure why, but I feel like the song is important in some way. Also, if you have any dream interpretations or your own vivid dreams to share, feel free to do either. I must now get off of the internet and take care of hygienic and mothering needs before 9a, when I must leave to drive to my retail job.

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