Crappy Rap Song

Ashley Ann Eubanks–In The Making–Crappy Rap Song by Ashley Ann Eubanks

The above is a link to my latest SoundCloud item. I couldn’t get the player to imbed in my Posterous blog and I didn’t want to create an infinite loop by posting to another blog and sharing on Posterous and having posterous auto-share back to said blog…I have too many things linked together…The song was inspired by that guy I mentioned in a recent post, the one I met here.

He had the gall to actually get mad at me for not texting him back after I told him Sunday that I was with family watching a movie. He was acting like a jealous boyfriend rather than a friend. So much for men and women being able to just be friends…I told him that my universe will never revolve around him while he’s just a friend, and I don’t see us moving out of the friend zone after my divorce since he let all the crazy out in one noxious burst. Whatever.

I have my beautiful girlies, my 20hrs a week of volunteerism (resume building, baby!), my 9hrs of graduate courses plus like 27hrs of homework each week, my house to clean, my writing to work on, weight to lose…I don’t need all that extra baggage of a friend who exists only to bog me down–fuck that shit!

For so long I felt guilty about sexual feelings that randomly came up about other people–I felt like I was committing crimethink; it was unfaithful to my husband. For so long I thought of only him when I spent time with Handa (see a recent post…).

It is possible that after my husband and I are legally divorced and I’ve completed my graduate coursework and settled into a job somewhere I might meet someone new (a highly upgraded model for husband number two).

In the meanwhile…I’ll try to continue refraining from going to town on myself on the 60 after leaving a sexy lawyer’s office because a man who is in his late twenties to early thirties and is already a partner in a lucrative law firm is one hell of a catch and it’s just too bad that I want to hire him to handle my divorce because there’s probably some kind of rule about not banging your clients and anyway he mentioned being cynical about marriage thanks to his line of work and I don’t really need Mr. Right-at-this-moment.

I’ll try to stop drooling over the sexy twenty-something bank manager who confesses that he’s stuck there til 6p and doesn’t mind my asking irrelevant questions about the nightlife in AJAZ because it’s only 4.30p and it’s totally fine if I tie him up for the rest of his shift even though the conversation had nothing to do with dating or S&M and was really about how I found a random $5 in my purse while searching for my account information and mentioned I needed to clean the Bombeckian refuse trap and he mentioned always being excited about finding money in his pants after a wild weekened.

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