Multiple men these days (and the occasional woman) have confessed an attraction to me that started when they first met me X number of years ago. Here are my concerns: why didn’t these people mention such an attraction when I was still younger, single, and free?
Some mentioned it during the time when I thought my marriage was actually going to last, so I laughed it off and limited interactions with such persons.
Others waited until now. Now that I am marooned in the Arizona desert. Now that my time and funds are limited. Now that I am in that weird limbo of marital separation where the separation was neither planned nor amicable and the other person has chosen to replace their vintage model with a cheap knock-off.
The thing is, I don’t want to be in a new relationship. I feel like I should, at the very least, get divorced before jumping into bed with the next thing that comes along. But, more than that, I feel like I shouldn’t just settle for Mr. Right-Now. I shouldn’t risk unplanned pregnancies and STDs on a one-night lark or on a temporary thing that may or may not have the potential to develop into something later. I certainly shouldn’t look to Mr. Wasn’t-Right-The-First-Time, Mr. Minimum-Wage-So-Can-You-Get-The-Check-Honey, or Mr. Didn’t-Work-Out-With-Your-Friend-So-Can-You-Give-Me-A-Shot.
Mr. In-The-Future-And-Wonderful (or Miss/Ms./Mrs.), understand that I will not settle for being your consolation prize. I will will not look at you as being that for me. I will not put up with the same kinds of things I let my current husband get away with. I will not accept being the one you might love someday or the one you kind of like. I will not be part of your harem or your rotation. I will not share you but you will not have to share me either.
I will not let you pressure me into things. I will not let you abuse me. I will not let you control me or our finances. And my children will always be put ahead of you. So will any children we someday might decide to have together. I’ll expect you to do the same. I look forward to meeting you someday. I know you’re not already part of the cast of characters in this tragicomedy I call my life, unless you’re one of the gorgeous professional men I’ve recently met (where did I put that bank manager’s number…).