#100factsaboutme and other distracting drivel…

Oh Em Eff Gee! Did I ever tell you how much I effen LOVE Pringles?

Yes, I realize that they aren’t as healthy as, say, a basket of fresh strawberries, but does it count as a healthy snack if you eat an entire can of fat free Pringles in one sitting? Do I get credit for sharing with Luna?

Why Pringles?

I’ve been really trying to make my public assistance dollars stretch while I’m diligently searching for a job. Part of that includes couponing. Now, I’m by no means an extreme couponer, but I try my best. My mother says I have expensive tastes because my pantry, fridge, freezer, and one low cabinet are stuffed with food items–mostly name brand. I ask, why purchase the store brand if you can get the name brand for the exact same price or less than the store brand?

And coupons aren’t just for over-processed junk items either (although, I do love to consume over-processed junk items…). The other day I got 2.5lbs of bananas for a whopping $0.54.

How is everything?

I’ve been trying to get by…


Luna asks me daily about her Daddy, about why we are here and when we can go home. I’ve tried to put it in kid-friendly terms. “Your daddy doesn’t want me living there anymore, but he would love for you to come visit at some point…” but it never seems quite adequate. And she always counters with something like, “Daddy will stop being frustrated with you and we’ll come back.”

Freya had a throat infection that led to an ER doc prescribing her amoxicillan; turns out…she’s alergic! Now the poor girl is on an antifungal and an antihistimine. I texted mi esposo, su padre, about what was going on. I told him I wished he could help me comfort her. He asked what he could do at the moment and I said I guess nothing from 1200 miles away but that it was so much easier when we could coparent when the girls were ill. I guess he thought I was trying to start a fight cause the conversation came to a close…

Sometimes he responds to my texts and I feel like maybe I’m just on a lengthy and frustrating vacation…other times I get no response at all and it’s painfully obvious how little I’m wanted by him.

I understand that I can’t make him love me and I understand how pathetic some of you must think I am when I pine over this man after confessing how troubled our marriage had become. But I just can’t stop loving a man I’ve loved for the better part of a decade. I can’t just move on that quickly. And there are too many reminders.

Luna has pictures of him on her bedroom wall–I can’t tell her that we shouldn’t hang up photographs of her Daddy. I still have the pentacle necklace he gave me several years ago and my wedding ring around my neck (the ring stopped fitting my finger when I was pregnant with Freya).

But other than that Mrs. Lincoln…

I’ve come to the end of yet another semester of graduate school. I only need four to six courses to finish my masters degree, assuming they continue to allow me to take online or independent study courses. They seem willing to do so, but my GPA has to reflect my abilities and I’m on shaky ground after that F from Summer I.

I’ve had zero luck on the job hunt so far, but I’m optimisticish. That’s kind of hard for me. I’m better at sarcastic, facetious, sardonic, satiric, etc. I’m better at the glass being so empty and dry the National Park Service has issued a burn ban…

I have my little Cinderella fantasies, of course. I still dream of happily ever after, even as the Ron White in me is writing another routine about failed marriages…To be clear, that was a metaphor or an analogy–Ron White has never been inside of me…

Current Events?

A short while ago, I was sitting in the throne room negotiating a new dumping contract when I heard a knock at the door. Now, usually no one would be knocking on my door at any hour other than occasionally my mother, as I know few other people here and they’re all friends of my mother.

Because my mother is currently attending a sapphic soiree in a nearby community, I knew the knocker was unlikely to be her. So startled was I that I dropped my cell phone (I’d been playing a rather rousing game of forty thieves solitaire) and it broke into three fortunately repairable pieces.

As it turns out, I’d apparently left my driver-side door open since this afternoon when I took the girls up to the ER to have Freya’s allergic reaction to the medicine checked out. We had been so hot and tired after the ER and subsequent hellmart stop (to get the OTC meds she’s on now) that I hadn’t realized I’d left the door open. Some stuff was moved around but nothing was missing so it’s entirely possible that I did all of that absent mindedly…

And now for something completely indifferent…


I noticed while browsing my blog entries earlier that I’d never actually finished that silly twitter trend of #100thingsaboutme (here’s the first and second installments) so enjoy numbers 81-100:


81. I actually love to doll it up like a girly girl, but every time I do people make such a big deal out of it that I feel wrongness; by the end of a day I look in the mirror and see a boy in a dress.

82. I like Ike. Not Eisenhower. Ike Broflovski from South Park.

83. I would rather spend $100 on another person than $1.00 on myself.

84. I’m bisexual but a practice monogamy in any relationship.

85. Very little falls into the category of taboo with me.

86. While I realize this might shatter your stereotype of obese women, I actually love salads. They’re awesome.

87. Iceburg is my least favorite lettuce.

88. If you loan me $1 today, you may never see it back, but if you give me $1 today, in the course of our friendship I’ll probably end up spending loads more on you.

89. I’ve been lied to, cheated on, abused, mistreated, maligned, abandoned, hated, mistrusted, but I still believe in love…

90. I don’t think I’m better than anyone, but I put a bunch of money, blood, sweet, and tears into getting my college education and have no guilt about thinking I deserve the advantages that piece of paper can give me in the job market.

91. I’ve never left the United States of America, but I’ve always dreamed of taking courses or teaching in a foreign land, as well as just touring there in general.

92. If there were ever such a horrible instance that a choice had to be made between my life and that of one of my offspring–even an unborn one–I would want my child to be the one to live. I hope I never face that choice.

93. If there were a horrible accident that left me comatose, I want no extraordinary measures and no lengthy life support.

94. Sometimes I feel a phantom baby in my abdomen. I’ve seen this phenomenon on mommy forums so I’m not the only nut out there. Something to do with remembering or maybe just hyperawareness of bowel functions or who knows…

95. I think my mirrors are of the fun-house variety because when I’m a decent weight I see Goliath and when I’m overweight I see Calista Flockhart…

96. I think I’m more afraid of success than of failure…

97. I don’t care if you’re a guy with an enormous endowment or a woman with exemplary assets, it don’t mean thing if you ain’t got that brain…

98. I’m really fishing for things to say on this game…I’m one of my favorite subjects, though!

99. This number reminded me of the song 99 Bottles of Beer On The Wall and so it’s stuck in my head now. I hope it’s also stuck in yours now. 😛

100. I couldn’t help but think of Porky Pig as I saw 100 and thought, “Th-th-th-that’s all folks!”

South Pacific–I could say life is just a bowl of Jello, and appear more intelligent and smart, but I’m stuck like a dope with a thing called hope, and I can’t get it out of my heart!

View the full blog at heartchasms.blogspot.com and like the blog on Facebook.

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