An Adornment for your Endowment
Now, most people would meet this news with this reaction:
“WHY?!! WHY IN THE GODS’ NAME????!!?!?!?”
But the site this image came from indicates that this particular fetish, though not for everyone, is something that some people find erotic.
It’s an alternative to more permanent phallus-altering fetishes, such as a getting a Prince Albert or a superincision.
I didn’t ask my husband’s opinion on this subject, but knowing how he feels about piercings related to that area of his body and how miserable his recent cytoscopy made him feel, I’m guessing this isn’t something he’ll ever want.
What do you think, readers? If you have a phallus, would you want this? If your lover has a phallus, do you think this would look good on them or turn you on?
I’m pretty sure I’d have to make a lover take this out before we did anything.
As the warmer weather approaches, many people will open their houses to larger dinner parties. Here are some ways to take the sting out of cooking for a large group of people:
- Nobody likes to be left out, so before you entertain outdoors, make sure to contact all your neighbors and tell them a big flood’s coming and the neighborhood is being evacuated
- Hail a passing taco truck
- Salads are a quick and easy dish if you don’t give a shit about your guests
- Put out a tub of wine and a shitload of straws
- Take time to imagine having sex with everyone at your party: When guests arrive, have sex with them for real, and afterward, enjoy a silent dinner
- Because of their religious beliefs, some guests may not eat certain foods; be sure to call them beforehand and remind them God does not exist
- Most pies are apple
- Only let the first five guests who show up eat
- Make the food taste real good; people like that
- Why not try crumbling a few bowel-suppressant caplets into the meal so that those monsters don’t clog up your toilet this time?
- Choose one color of food and stick with it
All great tips from The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Unemployment plummeted and stocks soared Tuesday after Republican leaders fulfilled their promise to cut funding for National Public Radio, a budgetary move that has completely rejuvenated the flagging U.S. economy. “Since eliminating federal spending for NPR, America’s economic outlook is brighter than it’s been in decades, with manufacturing on the rise and† millions of jobs once sent overseas now returning to our shores,” said Sen. Mark Kirk (R-IL), adding that by eliminating funds for NPR, the deficit has been slashed by 0.000004 percent and a newly thriving middle class once again has cause to believe in the American dream. “Pulling funding for Car Talk and Planet Money alone has created 4.2 million jobs and generated a $2 trillion budget surplus.” Republicans announced Thursday they will now turn their attention to cutting the National Park Service, a move that should ensure Social Security’s solvency for the next 350 years.
If only this were true…
What are some things y’all won’t skimp on at the store?