Feminism And My Family’s Financial Future

The Lonely Island – I Just Had Sex (feat. Akon)

I love Jessica Alba’s disappointed look, but it was more funny when she was mouthing the words. My friend linked me this vid in Yahoo chat and I was actually laughing aloud. The phallus fireworks at the end where hilarious.

Title Post

The fight for women’s equality, and specifically, women’s fair treatment by the media, isn’t about any one woman. It certainly isn’t about Palin. It’s not even about Maher’s use of “dumb twat” to describe her. 

It’s about fighting to change an institutionalized power structure that disadvantages women. It’s about changing the cultural assumption that men are the baseline of normal, from which women are a deviation. In the debate over health care reform, Sen. John Kyl perfectly exemplified this assumption when he argued that health insurance should not have to cover maternity care because he doesn’t need it. Sen. Debbie Stabenow famously responded, “I think your mom probably did.” 

We have witnessed, countless times, the double standards applied to female politicians, who are asked whether they can effectively govern and raise a family, a question male politicians with children are never asked. The media obsessively analyzes how female politicians dress or style their hair or whether shedding a tear proves that women are, indeed, too emotional to lead. Male politicians are exempted from such analysis. And it is that double standard that feminists and advocacy groups, like NOW, fight to end, even when the target of such sexism is someone who does not share the goal of ending sexism.

I really wanted to quote the whole article because the entire post was well-written and had excellent points, but I decided on this excerpt because it summarizes some of the main points and brings up something that irks me in relation to any job a woman takes, not just politics.

I’ve often been asked if I can handle parenting and college or parenting and a career. Some people that ask this might be asking out of a genuine concern for me as a person, knowing my tendencies towards procrastination and becoming overwhelmed, but there are some people who don’t know me at all, don’t know what I am and am not capable of, and still ask this question. Yet I don’t know of any time that my husband has ever been asked whether he can handle being a father and having a career or being a father and running his own business.

There are a lot of things that people just assume about me and my husband. Some of those assumptions he helps perpetuate, like the assumption that I am always okay with him going out with friends while I parent our children but that I don’t ever want or need to go out for social, educational, or business reasons without the children.

In some ways, I suppose my husband is a sexist. I have, at times, compared him to a stereotypical 1950s era husband. He wants hot meals on the table at his whim. He wants me to keep the house clean, no matter what other things I have going on in my life. He expects that I am the one doing the parenting because he is the wage earner, that I don’t need help from him. It amazes me that he can sleep through a crying baby but not a ringing phone.

But he does want something from me that a lot of more “conservative” husband might not want: that I get a job outside of the home. I don’t want a job. I do want a career. That’s why I went to college (something he didn’t want me to do and didn’t want to do himself).

The funny thing is, I’m about to have to jump headfirst into the job/career market, as his job at Hell-Mart is heading toward a more abrupt ending than he had originally anticipated and his small business is doing what most small businesses do and going between the red zone and breaking even each month. It is a very successful business in terms of the amount of interest it has garnered from current and potential customers, so I don’t doubt that it’ll eventually turn a profit well enough to support the family. It’s just not at that point just yet.

On Monday, I’ll be heading around town putting in applications and dropping off copies of my resume. I’m not doing this for feminist reasons, but for the utility of my family. I just hope it all works out like it needs to.

View the full blog at heartchasms.blogspot.com and like the blog on Facebook.

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