Otherness and Oversharing

Husband recently got us a subscription to Netflix. At first, I didn’t think Netflix was something I would use. However, I have since watched several movies I’d forgotten I wanted to see, as well as episodes and entire seasons of TV series’ I enjoy or thought I might enjoy.

Among said TV series is the National Geographic series, Taboo. Each episode explores lifestyles and cultures that are taboo to those not part of them. Each episode poses the question, “What is taboo to you?”

A few entries ago, I posted about the current sexual habits of my husband and I. Honestly, husband doesn’t care what I blog about. He actually doesn’t read it, but I tell him what I’ve blogged about and he’s promised to let me know if I blog about something that bothers him. So, if he couldn’t care less about our sex life ending up on a blog which boasts a whopping ten self-admitted readers, and if I am not even remotely embarrassed to post these entries, wherein lies the problem? Well…evidently some of my non-regular readers do take issue with my occasional “adult content” postings. Evidently sex, or talking about sex, is taboo for them.

I’ve mentioned before that I cannot possibly be bothered to try and not offend anyone–that’s impossible. But there is another reason for me to continue blogging about whatever I damn well please: avoiding otherness.

See, when things are taboo, that means they are considered to be anathema, banned, beyond the pale, disapproved, forbidden, frowned on, illegal, off limits, out of bounds, outlawed, prohibited, proscribed, reserved, restricted, ruled out, unacceptable, unmentionable, and unthinkable. However, if you talk about the taboo, if others hear you talk about the taboo, maybe it is less taboo. Maybe the people who also beleive in or practice the taboo can come out of the proverbial woodwork and join in a communal discussion of said taboo.

I supposed to persons opposed to the action or lifestyle will be frientened by the notion of un-tabooing it. But even “bad” things need to be out in the open. Consider that it used to be taboo to discuss having been assaulted, molested, or raped. Now it is encouraged to share the stories of your victimization, to help you heal and help others come forward and heal. Consider that NOT having slaves was once taboo to some people. Consider that interracial marriage was a taboo in this country in the not-too-distant past. Un-tabooing is a good thing.

If you’ve read my blog before, you know that I am all for gay marriage and gay adoption, have no problem openly discussing my current sex life and my past victimization, and am on both sides of the fence when it comes to various parenting choices. I am taboo. If you continue to be a reader, you can be taboo with me…until we become an unruly internet mob and are no longer “the other,” rather we become the so-called “norm.”

Normality is, after all, a relative concept, as is taboo. Taboo, to me, means different, not wrong. There are few things in this world that I consider inherently wrong.

Sade–There’s a quiet storm, and it never felt like this before. There’s a quiet storm that is you. There’s a quiet storm, and it never felt this hot before, giving me something that’s taboo.

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5 thoughts on “Otherness and Oversharing

  1. Ashley, this has nothing to do with your thoughts on taboo or gender. You need to see a good doctor, a specialist in endocrinology. Your extra hair growth can be a symptom of an endocrine problem which possibility needs to be explored for maintaining your own good health. Love, Betty PS: Please respond. If I don’t hear from you in a couple days, I’ll find another route to you.

  2. @ Betty:I have always suspected that it had something to do with my ovaries. I was told during an ultrasound in 2006 (while waiting to miscarry the pregnancy before Luna) that my left ovary was curled up and hugging my uterus. In 2009 I was told that my left ovary had a cyst, which hasn’t popped. Given Samantha’s battles with endometriosis, I’ve considered I might possibly have that, as the symptoms vary from patient to patient and can range from no symptoms to quite severe symptoms, with the pain and suffering Samantha’s gone through being somewhere in the middle. After my third miscarriage I was told that I should probably get a doctor to run several tests to determine what, if anything, was leading to my miscarriages. At this point, though, I don’t have insurance or a disposable income, and none of my symptoms are severe enough to justify an ER visit. There is a free clinic in town, but their resources are limited and they cannot do a lot of things. When I was still in college, the free clinic there told me they thought I had Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrom, which is a catch-all diagnosis when they aren’t sure what is causing problems, but they characterize it by considering weight, facial hair, and reproductive history. It wasn’t a doctor providing the diagnosis, though, and no tests were run. I’m curious if my weight fluctuations could be partly attributed to the same problems that cause the hair growth and such, but I know that my weight issues are also attributed to my diet and lack of exercise. The taboo in my having facial hair and such is that persons judge women by those things, which of course they shouldn’t. Some women are just genetically predisposed to more body hair than others. But if there is a medical reason why I am a bearded lady, I would certainly love to treat it at some point in the future. Do you suppose talking about it on my blog counts as it being a preexisting condition for medical insurance purposes even though no doctor has given me a definitive diagnosis?

  3. Ashley, this has nothing to do with your thoughts on taboo or gender. You need to see a good doctor, a specialist in endocrinology. Your extra hair growth can be a symptom of an endocrine problem which possibility needs to be explored for maintaining your own good health. Love, Betty PS: Please respond. If I don’t hear from you in a couple days, I’ll find another route to you.

  4. @ Betty:I have always suspected that it had something to do with my ovaries. I was told during an ultrasound in 2006 (while waiting to miscarry the pregnancy before Luna) that my left ovary was curled up and hugging my uterus. In 2009 I was told that my left ovary had a cyst, which hasn’t popped. Given Samantha’s battles with endometriosis, I’ve considered I might possibly have that, as the symptoms vary from patient to patient and can range from no symptoms to quite severe symptoms, with the pain and suffering Samantha’s gone through being somewhere in the middle. After my third miscarriage I was told that I should probably get a doctor to run several tests to determine what, if anything, was leading to my miscarriages. At this point, though, I don’t have insurance or a disposable income, and none of my symptoms are severe enough to justify an ER visit. There is a free clinic in town, but their resources are limited and they cannot do a lot of things. When I was still in college, the free clinic there told me they thought I had Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrom, which is a catch-all diagnosis when they aren’t sure what is causing problems, but they characterize it by considering weight, facial hair, and reproductive history. It wasn’t a doctor providing the diagnosis, though, and no tests were run. I’m curious if my weight fluctuations could be partly attributed to the same problems that cause the hair growth and such, but I know that my weight issues are also attributed to my diet and lack of exercise. The taboo in my having facial hair and such is that persons judge women by those things, which of course they shouldn’t. Some women are just genetically predisposed to more body hair than others. But if there is a medical reason why I am a bearded lady, I would certainly love to treat it at some point in the future. Do you suppose talking about it on my blog counts as it being a preexisting condition for medical insurance purposes even though no doctor has given me a definitive diagnosis?

  5. Hi, This is a message for the webmaster/admin here at heartchasms.blogspot.com.May I use part of the information from your post above if I provide a backlink back to your website?Thanks,Jack

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