Same Sects Marriage

I’ve decided I’m against same sects marriage. Seriously, put some Allspice into your love life and yoke up or get hitched (or whatever cart-pulling metaphor you want to use for your marriage) to someone who is of a different religious background from you.

Okay, so maybe I didn’t fully practice this.

My husband uses the umbrella term of pagan to describe his amalgamation of Wicca and various other neo-witchcraft ideas with Hellenic and Nordic tradition, or something like that.

Me, I use the same umbrella turn, but I think that all deities that anyone has ever believed in are real and true for that person. I believe in Cryptozoology as a legitimate science. I think that all creatures that persons and cultures claim to have seen over the years must be real and true for them. In some ways I’m agnostic–there’s no proof for or against the existence of deities. In some ways I’m atheist–I roll my eyes at the absurdity of some people’s devotion to some brands of religion. I believe in angels, but in the form of fellow humans who come into our lives, do good by us of their own volition, and then leave again. I believe in magic, but I don’t use props to practice. To me, magic and prayer are birds of the proverbial feather. You sit down, will something to happen and/or ask someone to help it happen, and then wait for the results.

Some people use props to pray, others don’t. Same with magic. So, yes, in some ways, I have practiced same sects marriage, but in other ways, we are of different sects, those of the solitary practitioner.

I’ve met couples where one is atheist and the other Christian (of some flavor), or one is Jewish and the other atheist, or one is Hindu and the other a practitioner of Islam. I think it’s wonderful that they can be mature adults. Now, I am not in their homes 24/7, nor do I (thankfully) ever find myself in their marital bed, but from the outside looking in it makes more sense to me.

I was raised in a Christian family, although we tried several flavours of the same bitter (as it came to feel to me) candy. In church, we were taught to never be unequally yoked. This never made sense to me. Nor did the notion of staying away from so-called sinners and heathens. If Jesus could hang out with hookers and thieves, why couldn’t I hang out with people of different faiths and walks of life as well?

My first serious boyfriend was a very devout atheist. My mother hated him, therefore I loved him. I could say it was his fault that I went from being a sweet innocent fourteen year old who hadn’t yet had (consensual) sex to a wild and crazy teen who wasn’t even remotely discriminatory in my choice of partners. I could say that, but it would probably be false.

The truth is, that whole “no sex before marriage” thing never sat right with me, but I was willing to play the game on the assumption that I’d get that ticket into that fancy awesome place you go when you die. It was a combination of first boyfriend’s influence, my own research and internal questioning, observing life around me, and meeting new people from different backgrounds that made me “go to the dark side” as it were.

But I don’t think it’s the dark side now. I do want my daughter (now 3) to make better choices than I did as a teen, but I want her to do so because knowledge and understanding and logic bring her to a better road, not because I have scared her into thinking some invisible guy in the sky is going to send her to a flaming pit forever after.

I don’t knock people for believing if they so desire. As I said–the deities are right and true for them. And I don’t label myself into any particular category. Maybe there are grains of that Christian upbringing in me still, maybe I can’t shake the Puritanical ancestry that many Americans share (though you wouldn’t know it if you watch MTV a lot), maybe I’m just confused. But I feel the need to research and study various different beliefs to see what does and does not fit–put it all together and smelt it down into one solidish piece for myself.

I don’t think I could be happy with someone who is a carbon copy of myself, and I think that’s especially true when it comes to religion. If there’s no one there to contradict you, how do you know that you truly believe. Maybe you’re just being a parrot? They say variety is the spice of life.

Manhattan Transfer–Tonight, let’s taste the spice of life. Keep it sweet until the mornin‘ light. Watch fantasy unfold, and let the lovin‘ flow.

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2 thoughts on “Same Sects Marriage

  1. I didn’t even know she was, lol. She doesn’t seem to be pushy about it. Your children will have the influence of the both of you, and in witnessing your love and devoted interaction regardless of your different paths in life, your children will learn to love and respect people no matter who they are or what they believe, and will be able to make their own decisions in life.

  2. My wife is a Christian, I’m something I can’t quite define yet. I respect her beliefs, and they have influenced mine. We’re both mature adults, and that is amazing. It’s hard sometimes, and no one but you will understand, but it’s cool.

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