I have papers due in several class…but I have writer’s block. It’s not that I don’t have an IDEA of what to write about, but I just don’t have the gusto. Hmm…Gusto…I wonder at the origins of such a word. I mean, I just learned how to use the verb “gustar (to be pleasing)” in Spanish, and the “yo (I)” form of the verb would be “gusto (pronounced goo-stow)”. I wonder if there is a connection? However, in Spanish, you wouldn’t say, “I like chocolate.”
You would say, “Chocolate is pleasing to me,” by saying, “Me gusta chocolaté.” I suppose I might be able to get away with saying, “Esposo gusto yo,” or “Yo gusto esposo,” or something to say, “I am pleasing to my spouse,” but that probably does not mean the same thing that it would in English. Funny…here I am trying to conjugate Spanish verbs for no reason at all, when I have all these English papers to write! But that is why I am a card carrying member of the Procrastination Club…or rather I would be a card carrying member, if we ever got around to printing the cards or forming the club for that matter…lol.
I guess there are worse things I could do to waste time…like eat. EATING! THAT is a problem for me. I love my darling husband, but sometimes I just want to conk him on the head with a cast iron skillet! He reprimanded me tonight on his way to work because I ate half his gummi worms. Here is the problem I have: Why are they HIS gummi worms? I mean, why am I not entitled to exactly half of everything? I can be a selfish bitch too, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like he thinks that just because he is gainfully employed and my two jobs (mommyhood and education) are not gainful, that he is entitled to purchase whatever he damn well pleases and to hell with any objections on my part…but that’s wrong, isn’t it?
I mean, if I were working, and he were home with Luna and attending a university, or even if he were only home with Luna and not attending a university, I would feel as though we were equals. He certainly has no qualms about spending the money I get from student loans…okay, to his credit, ALL the bills are ALWAYS paid, and it’s not as if I am starving…not by a long shot. In fact, I am his fat lazy wife (my words not his). I care for Luna and I go to school and husband works hard every night at his job and then watches Luna while I am in school and husband buys me things all the time (without my asking) and surprises me with them and I really shouldn’t be bitching about what he doesn’t share with me.
After all, does my fat ass really NEED half a package of gummi worms? I guess I’ll get off here and finish watching a “Sex and the City” rerun, followed by a shower, possible self-gratification (with my husband on my mind…) and a little bit of sleep before I start my day at five in the morning. It is my duty—to myself, to Luna, and to husband—to keep a clean house AND make excellent grades AND give Luna optimum care. EVERYTHING ELSE is trivial, right?
H-Blockx–Mary gets up at six in the morning. She runs herself a bath while she’s brushing her teeth. Six thirty she’s styled and dressed in the kind of rag she layed out before she went to sleep. Noone’s there but a cup full of coffee, bored she stares at the morning news. She’s feeling cold.
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