The baby’s finally sleeping through the night–so why can’t I?

You know something funny? When Luna was first born, I used to bitch about not getting any sleep. Now, she’s six months old and usually sleeps most of the night, and here I am staying up all night playing on the computer! I guess I finally got used to getting no sleep, lol. Well, to all you imaginary readers, I’d like to say thank you for your imaginary loyalty, lol. I have been blogging for a couple of years now, and it has a therapeutic quality about it. Any emotion can be transferred from my body to my blog, where it can do no harm. Sure, someone might read it and take offense, but to hell with them, lol. People who get offended by my blogging should stop and think for a moment. If I didn’t write on here, what outlet would I have for my anger, agitation, frustration, fuckstration, or homicidal thoughts? What outlet would I have for vengeance against mine enemies? Granted, I rarely point them out by name, or even action, but they know who they are, if they ever read this. Amazingly enough, I can say with abject honesty that today, right now, in this very moment, I am happy. I have momentary Nirvana, inner peace, and I didn’t even need to masturbate. It’s all in how you look at life, really. I mean, Luna is a wonderful and amazing child who is learning new things every day; Robert is a wonderful and loving husband who is desperately trying to write the wrongs done unto me–either at his hands, others, or my own–by spending the rest of our lives making me happy. I, in turn, am attempting to do my part. I try to cook the meals, wash the clothes, care for the offspring, scrub the dishes, and do all those other lovely domesticated things. I am currently a stay-at-home-mom, a compromise between Robert and I. I wanted to stay home, and he wanted me to work. We decided together that I could work during the summers and attend school during the school years. Since I receive both Pell Grants and Loans, my financial contribution to the household won’t diminish completely, but we will be benefiting from my eventual degrees and in the interim I have the time and energy to be with Luna. I am looking into placing her in an Early Head Start Program, which would allow her social interaction and mental stimulation, both good things, yes? I have reservations about day care, but Head Start is about what it sounds like, giving children a head start on learning. After touring the place, I’ll know if the children are happy there, and being stimulated enough. If I am satisfied, I will put us on a waiting list. Hopefully, she’ll get in, and then I won’t have to worry about childcare during school. Except for Tuesdays. Next semester I have a Tuesday night class, but I think I have a friend or two who can watch her then. The course is Selected Topics in Literature: Women of the West, so I’m betting there will be mostly women enrolled, and I know the instructor (also a woman) so maybe there would be times where if I absolutely could not find a babysitter arrangements could be made. At any rate, I think Luna would have fun going to “school” during the week while “Mommy” goes to school. Okay, so enough of the future dwelling. Time for a current events recap: Luna had her first Thanksgiving last week. She really enjoyed herself. We put turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, and water in a blender and spoon fed the mush to her. She loved it so much, she had it smeared all over her! For those of you imaginary readers who also follow the family blog you will find photographs of the first annual Fort Smith Eubanks Family Thanksgiving. In attendance were my loving husband, Robert, my gorgeous daughter Luna, and me, of course. Anyway, another current event was how we had a roommate for a little while, but he moved out again, leaving behind a debt to us and the fact that he took a cell phone we were letting him borrow. Grrness! But, it will be okay. Today, he brought us $50, which is only 1/8 of what he owes us, and while I won’t hold my breath waiting on the rest of it, I could feign optimism and pretend to believe he’ll keep his promise to pay, despite the fact that he broke his promise to stay here and be a good roommate and such. There have been other minor drama factors recently, but none blogworthy. All in all, as December begins I have come to the realization that 2007 wasn’t such a crappy year after all. Now if only I could sleep… William Shakespeare–“To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;”

View the full blog at heartchasms.blogspot.com and like the blog on Facebook.

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