Twilight…

At five in the morning your mind is either conked out completely, exhausted from working all night, or if you are crazy like me it is reeling with thoughts. I do not know why I cannot just be happy with what I have. I must always dig beneath the surface, peel away the scabs, and try to find a reason to let go.

I will not share the details with my few readers, mainly because there is one reader out there who should not be reading this because it might violate the terms of the restraining order that I wish I had placed on him…anyway…suffice to say that some bad stuff happened, or is happening, I am still not sure which, and it was painful and emotionally draining, and I thought that it had ended and that I could forgive and go on with my life, but certain third parties whose name and physical descriptions shall not be mentioned here are continuing to do that which had originally angered me.

Homicidal thoughts aside, there must be retribution, but how to do so without hurting certain innocent bystanders? And how to keep what I want and rid myself of everything else without losing some things altogether? I am sure certain parties reading this may guess to whom and what I am referring, but I want to avoid gossip and unwanted advice. I basically just needed to blog for me today.

What am I to do? There is someone who would be hurt if I took certain actions, and then there is me getting hurt. However, I would also be hurt if I did not take certain actions. It is times like these when I wonder if my mother’s advice that “sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all” might actually come in handy? But if I do nothing at all, will not that cause issues later? Or is it possible that the parties involved might cease and desist from their current courses of action on their own? I suppose only time will tell…

3 Doors Down–“There’s a difference in spending time with me and killing time while I’m there on too many people and too many things, and it makes me feel like hell. You’re half gone as I can see,” and all of this she says to me. “There’s too many questions and too many strings and they won’t keep their self tied. On a roller coaster ride, it feels like I’m lying next to a ghost at night. I don’t know why I gave you my heart, ’cause sometimes it feels so wrong, but in spite of all this weather I know why we are together, and I swear right now I’m right where I belong.”

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