Lost Thoughts

Sometimes I think of something incredibly brilliant to say…But no one is around to hear it and the words fade away. Sometimes I think of something so profound, so eloquent, that it begs to be written down and saved for all eternity…But I haven’t a pen or paper and the words fade away. Sometimes I think of something so wonderfully absurd that it bears repeating…But I cannot find my tape recorder and the words fade away. I wish that I could remember those lost thoughts. I wish that I could tell my nonexistent blog readers all the thoughts that pop into my head while I am working diligently to achieve tasks at work, or during my walks back and forth from work, or just prior to drifting off to sleep after an exhausting day of work, or right when I wake up and am laying in bed lazily trying to avoid getting ready for work…I guess most of my days center around work. No wonder I have so many lost thoughts. Mindless drones and monkeys don’t need such accoutrements as brains and thought processes. Oh well! I suppose I shall just have to make do with the rants that I can come up with when I happen to be near a computer with working internet. Did I tell you? My internet in my room hasn’t worked since I moved into my apartment. It is really starting to piss me off. Apparently they just switched internet providers, so maybe things will be better. I also just found out that if I did want to continue living here after my lease runs out I would have to move into a one bedroom or find people I know and convince them to sign a lease with me. Therefore, unless Robert wants to share a place with me again, I will need to get a tighter grip on my budget and/or find another place to live. I like this complex, but I cannot afford the $750 for a one bedroom apartment. It only costs that much because there is internet and cable and home phone and the water bill is capped at $10 each month and the apartments are fully furnished with appliances and everything. I guess it is cheaper than having to go somewhere else and put down all the extra deposits and pay for the water I use and all of that, but I would really have to focus on my budget each month. I am officially full time at Wal-Mart though, and I make $7.60/hr before taxes and stock purchase. I think I own part of a stock right now…I decided that I will wait until at least a year after my hire date at Wal-Mart and until I really need the money before I sell my stocks. I know I’m not really making any money on them, but it’s kind of nice to think that I own something, even if it is one kegazillionth of a company. I think maybe if Robert does not want to live with me when my lease runs out I will tell them I want a one bedroom here. Keep things simple and easy on myself. I haven’t the transportation to get my stuff to anywhere else, and I think that paying the first months rent and an electric deposit is cheaper than all the extra deposits, assuming the internet actually works in the next place. I have the number for a place that I can get a months worth of groceries for $25. I think I will try it out and see if it helps me any, but first I will wait until I run out of the groceries I already have. No! I don’t want to wake up, Mommy. Life is too damn complicated. Avril Lavigne–Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated? See, the way you’re acting like you’re somebody else gets me frustrated. Life’s like this, you, you fall, and you crawl, and you break, and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty. Promise me I’m never gonna find ya fake it. No, no, no.

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